Today I Cried. It Will Get Better.

Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash
Will it last forever?
Today I cried.
When I stopped to think about who I’ve become. I cried.
Where was the cheerful, immature innocence that I once had? 
I don’t know this person staring back at me in the mirror.
The degraded confidence, the empty stare. Who’s in there?
Where did the power, laughter, confidence go?  How can I find it?
I want it back. I need it back. I’ll have it back.
Hello.  It’s me.  

The struggle
What do you do when the challenges and storms of life have seemed to push you so far that the only way you can protect yourself is to hide in a shell of your true self? The storms keep coming and you wonder if it will ever end. You struggle to remember the last time you experienced true peace. It seems like such a distant memory. Meanwhile, you try everything you can to hold it together because surely the suffering can’t last forever. Can it? You pray to God to help you get through the pain. Life’s experiences have taught you not to ask that it stops, but that you can get through it… intact.

It will get better.
You decide to take inventory of all of the tough times that God has gotten you through and realize that every single time, you made it out. In retrospect, you realize that while the situations appeared devastating at the time, it actually helped you grow.  In every situation, you learned something. You realized that you are stronger than you could ever imagine. Today, you have increased patience, more endurance, and solid confidence.  

It does get better. 
In fact, when you think about it, you remember that dream from childhood. You realize that all of the life lessons you learned are tools you will need to accomplish that persistent dream from your youth -  the stubborn dream that never seems to go away.  You finally understand that the persistent dream of your youth is actually from God. 

After the epiphany, you take a breath and suddenly remember that after every storm, things do get better. Trouble doesn’t last forever.  

Don’t give up. 


James 1:2-4: “2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Purpose Revealed. Is this the Year You Pursue Yours?

Image
Children at play. What dream did you have when you were a child?  Continuing my theme of helping people with their purpose this year, I wanted to add a snippet from a book I started years ago and that I am currently working on. Will 2018 be the year you finally start working on your "purpose?" “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.  They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  In those days when you pray, I will listen.  If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me.  I will be found by you.” says the Lord. - Jeremiah 29: 11-12 (NLT) Do you remember when you were a child and you knew exactly what you wanted to do when you grew up? However, as you grew older, there were life-changing events that impacted your decision so much you changed your career choice.  Those life-changing events could have been a death in a family, an abusive or embarrassing situation or a comment f...
Read more

In 2017, Moving In Faith Toward My Purpose! (Repost from January 01, 2017)

Image
Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is the substance of things hoped for. The evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:6 – But without faith, it is impossible to please Him for he that cometh to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.   As I reviewed and bid my final farewell to 2016, I was amazed at my growth from the spiritual, personal and professional perspectives.  2015 and 2016 were both very challenging years for me. I faced decisions that presented themselves as critical crossroads for me. I had to end relationships that turned out to be destructive. I also had to face the realities of many my age with senior care for my aging mother while trying to navigate my business. I also had to decide on whether or not to continue the business or to go back to working for a company.  The challenge was that my prior profession would require 50-60 hour weeks that I would now be unable to manage as I cared for my mother....
Read more

Uncovering a Mask: Finishing the year in my Purpose

Image
I felt as if I was spinning my wheels.  At the beginning of this year, my goal was to understand and operate within my purpose.  I knew that it would require a great deal of faith, scary faith.  But it really didn’t matter because I was at the end of myself, tired of doing the same thing with limited results.  I had to release control and give it over to my creator who knew what he had purposed for me. I am reminded of that in one of my favorite bible verse: Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV) – For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. God had something he wanted me to do.  The fear of stepping in the unknown was far less than the fear of not pleasing God or fulfilling my purpose.  I just couldn’t be satisfied as I was. I knew that I couldn’t go on the way I have been.  Sure, I accomplished a lot of the thing things I set out to do, but God had another plan....
Read more