Who is waiting for you to fulfill your Purpose? Moving Towards Your Purpose In Spite of the Fear.
Every day, I get to speak with people who want to improve their lives by finding their next career opportunity. Often these conversations gravitate into them sharing their dreams and their fears of those obstacles that keep them from accomplishing their goals. I am always humbled that they would share intimate details usually shared only with close confidants. I am also amazed that many of them don't recognize their own genius or don’t move forward with their goals due to multiple reasons; usually, all based on fear.
If this is your story or something similar, then this post is for you.
What do you believe or what do you tell yourself that is keeping you from your purpose or those things that you were created to do?
What did you fail to accomplish in 2018 or previous years that while it is your “dream” or “calling” you never got around to doing it because you were afraid? What voices are telling you that you can’t do it; it’s impossible or that you will fail?
I’ve heard many of these same challenges in my own journey and for a moment my fear caused me to pause. Note that I said pause. It didn’t nor doesn’t stop me. You see, I decided a long time ago that I wasn’t going to live my life in regrets. I came to that decision in my teens after coming across an article that highlighted the biggest regrets of most people at the end of their lives. It wasn’t making a lot of money or acquiring a lot of material things, but it was not spending enough time with family and not pursuing their dream.
So I decided to embrace the fear, make a plan and pursue what I believed to be my purpose. Quitting is not an option, no matter the difficulty.
In my life and on this journey, I’ve taken a lot of risks. Some turned out differently than what I expected and some would even be deemed “failures” by others. However, I disagree. Besides, “others” don’t get a vote. My perceived “failures” exposed weaknesses that I could only strengthen through the fire of testing. Through those “trials” or “challenges” I also realized strength to endure that I didn’t know I had. As a result, I was able to sharpen my mettle and accomplish more than I ever thought I could. I don’t take credit for it. I contribute everything I have accomplished to the faithfulness of The Most High. Even during the toughest times, when obstacles seemed insurmountable, He was there. Somehow, even in those uncertain times, I was able to keep going. Out of those disappointments and the uncertainties I discovered a strength that I otherwise wouldn’t have realized. I learned that the teachings from the bible is wisdom and life. It is the bedrock for my ability to move forward, and I’m so thankful. Of course, I've learned lessons and tips along the way.
Allow me to share what I’ve learned along my journey in pursuing my purpose.
Life Lesson: Protecting Your Purpose
I’ve learned that your journey will draw different people into your life, allowing you to share your talents and learn from them. Along the way, I’ve met people who were generous in sharing their experiences and knowledge that helped support a solid foundation for me to work from. I’ve also met others who are along for the ride as long as it’s smooth, but when the path became turbulent or it was time for them to “share,” they disappeared. While disappointing, I learned from each of them. Lastly, there will be those who will outwardly support you while secretly hoping for your failure. Unfortunately, these people do exist, but yes, there’s a lesson from them as well.
Here’s the thing, people will come and go. Those who are meant to stay will and those who are passing through will surely go. Count the experience as an exercise for you to build your discernment; an opportunity to share your talent, but protect your purpose, time and focus. I realized that these same people who were negative or discouraging were transferring their own fears onto me. You see, many people who are “haters” or consistently discourage others, don’t necessarily do it because of you but out of concern about how “they” will feel if you succeed. It’s really narcissistic thinking. Why else would anyone discourage another from pursuing their dream if it’s not placing anyone in danger and particularly if it can be very positive for you or beneficial for others? It is important for this reason to be able to discern the “intention” of those who come into your life. For those of you who believe in The Most High, then the wisdom will come from the Ruach Hakodesh, who many refer to as the Holy Spirit.
One may ask what are some signs of people with wrong intentions? You may be able to identify a few clues:
- There will be an uncomfortable feeling when someone’s intention is suspect.
- You may not be able to put your “finger” on it, but something won’t feel right.
- You may notice “red flags” such as snide or negative comments in jest that may have a twinge of “truth” to them.
- There may be negative responses in much of what you do or say.
- The person doesn't share in celebrating your milestones, for example, telling you they support your efforts, but not attending your events or as simple as “liking” your social media posts. Simply put, their actions don’t share their words. Left unchecked, it can become an unwanted distraction in pursuing your purpose.
As we enter into the coming year what will you do differently to move towards your purpose? Will you continue to let another year go by with only “dreaming” and not “acting” towards your purpose? What will be different? The following are a few tips and words of encouragement to motivate you:
- Know that you have to first believe that it is possible. Even when there is not one other person who believes, you MUST.
- Know that problems or roadblocks are not show stoppers or deal breakers. They are designed to detour you to a safer route. Sure, the detour may take longer, but if you stay on track you will reach your destination. Never quit because you run into an obstacle. Find the alternate route.
- Know that it will be hard. However, anything of value usually is. You see if you’re going to do something you’ve never done before, you will have to move outside of your comfort zone.
- Know that you may sometimes walk alone and that the journey could sometimes be lonely. You will have to learn how to be your own best company; your own best motivator.
- For those of you who believe in The Most High, know that all things work together for the good of those who love HIM and are called according to His purpose. It will work for your good.
- Be okay with having failures along the way. It’s a part of growth. It comes with the package and differentiates you from those who stand on the sidelines and watch. They get to see you at your most vulnerable, but they will also get to see you at your ultimate.
Tips to help you overcome fear in pursuing your purpose:
- Have a flexible plan. The thing that people fear most is the unknown. However, if you have a plan, it prepares you for the unknown and makes the challenge seem less intimidating.
- Break the rules. Don’t adhere to rules that weren’t written for you. The best innovators are those who dared to color outside of the lines.
- Get rid of fear by confronting it. What is the worst thing that can happen? Okay and then what? What is the best that can happen? Start there.
- Don’t self-sabotage. Tell yourself that you can accomplish your goal even when it feels like you can’t and the stretch seems impossible. It will eventually get easier in time or the “challenge” will become familiar and appear as less of a threat to success.
- Never compare yourself to others! Life is not a competition.
- Recognize that you were made for this journey. It was customized for you to bless someone else.
- Embrace the difficult times as life lessons and share your hard gained wisdom.
- A support team is great. However, learn how to encourage and love yourself.
- Above all trust in The Most High. He wrote the playbook.
Never quit. I’m praying for you!